Check it

I ran a 5 miler last night in Souf Boston with my sister, Annie. It was a nice night, albeit humid. I made the mistake of starting out in the back of the pack, which hampered my first mile. Getting through all of the people and out onto the main street proved detrimental to my time. I went through the first mile in 8 minutes flat, which was not what I was hoping for. It was a nice, flat course along the water and a good time overall. I finished with a 7:27 minute pace, which although not blazing, was better than I expected. The race was also an excuse for me to debut my new racing kicks...

BOOOOOYA.
I realize they are usually worn for XC and track, but they are super light, feel like they weigh about AH pound, so I got 'em. Probably not the best for my shins but hey, details.

The Boilermaker carnage report

Ok, so there isn't much carnage to report, to be honest. I didn't run as fast as I would have liked, but for 9.3 miles in thick humidity, I think I did OK. I would give you my actual time, the accurate one measured by the chip I was wearing, but I can't. Why, you asked? Oh, because the timing company, the one hired to get all of our times correct...yeah, they dropped the ball BIG time. Apparently there was a malfunction at the start and all the data was lost. So, the only times we got were from the gun start. That is fine and dandy for a small 5k race, but when a start looks like this, you are going to have some explaining to do.
Not to mention that the race finishes on the grounds of the Saranac brewery, so some folks are going to be even more irate due to the all-you-can-drink fest.

Ah, nothing says dehydration better than a 9-mile run on a hot and humid day followed up by a dozen Saranac Pale Ales. Now enjoy that drive home, folks!

As for myself, I didn't partake in the hopps and barely love fest, as I already dry heaved enough for the day. I stuck to the free Vitamin water and snow cones...and try to take all the horrific outfits in. Seriously, what better way to say "LOOK AT ME" other than wearing a thin layer of microfiber in places where there should be a lot more material. Ah, but that is the distance runner for you. They are the same bunch that, while resting in the comforts of home...or at Disney Land, will not be afraid to be caught looking like so:

Yeah, that is the dreaded socks and sandals combination. I mean, there hasn't been a combination that deadly since I rocked Chun-Li on the Sega Genesis. There is nothi....

What? What about Blanka? Please. Blanka was trash. Ryu, maybe, but not Blanka; get out of here with that annoying body spin.

Anyway, how great is that socks and sandals specimen on the left? I know, I don't even think that the owner of these size 10's knows that he probably has killed a few people. Out for a slow nance around the park, Vern remains unaware that his devastating combo has caused many onlookers to go blind, even drawn the stare of those behind the wheel, causing massive road carnage.

Poor Vern, he just wanted to go for a little nance. Should have thought that one through, Vern. Should have thought that one through...

Overall, it was a fun weekend, even if I only got 1.3 minutes of sleep at the lovely Davis Motel. With two rooms the size of a freshman dorm and 15 people, not a lot of Z's were caught. Also, I would like to meet the artistic master that is in charge of landscaping at the DM; the fake floral arrangements throughout the property are breathtaking.

I must give props to my boy Mike Howard, who powered to a sub 60-minute finish after fighting Ebola throughout the previous week. Well done, bud. Also to John French, who sprinted for 9 miles and ran 49 minutes and change. Fast, very. I also want to give a huge cyber high-five to the folks who thought they were going to pull off a Guinness Book of World Records feat by handing out glasses with plastic noses on them. Apparently they forgot that they were also handing out free beer...to 15,000 REALLY thirsty people. Apparently everyone was supposed to put them on at a certain time. Whoops. This is what happened instead...

Ah, a good time had by all. And check it out, the debut race for the Petit Family Foundation jersey. Thanks to Dr. Petit for the logo of his family's charity. I certainly wore it with pride and will continue to do so for a long time. I will be running in the first annual Petit Family 5K this Sunday, July 20th in Plainville, CT. If anyone is interested, head on over to:

www.petitroadrace.com

and sign up.

Peace-

B

This is....

What happens when a 15k race ends at a brewery and the beer's free :)

Wow, that wasn't bad.

I'm serious with this one. I'm on the way back now, hamstrings are
shot from that speed workout but other than that, I feel good. Ran 23
minutes for the third and final 5k...not bad!

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Mahatma Gandhi

APB out on my fast-twitch muscles

They are missing...

I can't believe they would up and desert me like that. I mean, I know my eyesight and hearing are mandated to leave me over time, but I am prepared for their departure. But I'm only 29 years old and last time I checked, I didn't have any weird grey hairs growing out of my ears and I don't wear these:

If you are wondering what is wrong with such a pair of shoes, then it is a waste of my time to explain it to you. But, being the nice guy that I am, here it is in brief...After the age of forty, a man's DNA changes drastically and as a result, a few things go to the way side. The most important of these is his ability to detect crucial fashion faux pas. It's sad, really, seeing so many good men make such destructive decisions. Unfortunately, major corporations have taken notice to this evolutionary quirk and being evil, they exploit it. Why do you think the world has fanny packs? 

Yeah, I know, I know, it is hard to digest when you first accept the truth. Have a seat, get some water, take a deep breath - the world can be a harsh place. Just count your lucky stars you found this blog, and me, to guide you through the destructive mine fields of bad fashion.

Anywho, sorry for the tangent (you can thank me later). Where was I...middle age...bad DNA, decisions...fanny packs and comfortable white, mid-cut cross training shoes with seven different width selections...OH YEAH!

Got it - They are missing. Up and left me, didn't even leave a note. Just vanished in the night without me even noticing. They are probably in Santa Fe by this point, heading for the border, looking for cheap booze and bad decisions. What are missing, you ask? My fast-twitch muscles, of course.

Obvi; gosh...

I discovered they were missing while attempting a speed workout yesterday on the track near my apartment. It being in Dorchester, I had to shimmy through a fence, and then another, to get to it. Trespassing? Yes, but all in the name of a good cause so it's OK. 

Write that down.

I didn't have any real expectations for this workout...OK, that's a lie, I thought I would be able to at least resemble, even if by the narrowest of margins, a sliver of my old track self. Shoot, I even broke out the dusty spikes that had been sitting in my trunk. Mind you, I haven't run many times on the track since I went and had this done:

Yeah, that would be my left ankle post reconstructive surgery. My favorite part is the staple you can clearly see at the top of the incision that is directly IN the wound itself. Sweet aim, doc. Anyway, putting the spikes on, I wondered if I could still hold my own. I mean, I wasn't a super star or anything, but I could run a 22 second 200, high jump around 6'7", long jump in the high 22's, and split a 49 and change in the 400. With that said, I also realized that running distance had an averse effect on leg speed and turn over, A.K.A. fast-twitch muscles.

BUMP THAT.

How about running distance makes fast-twitch muscles run for the hills, leaving no signs of anything other than tears and terrible split times.

Four 2oo's at 100%, a joke of a workout back in the day but all I could handle at the present time. I was shooting for 25-second splits for the first two and then 27's for the final two. Not fast by any stretch, but good enough to get my legs moving again.

Dear Brian, 

We no longer love you because you neglected us. We are leaving you, have fun trying to get through your workout with out us. 

Talk to you never,

F-twitch

Yep, pretty much sums it up. Here is the carnage:

Splits:

1) 27.5 seconds, thinking I was going too fast as it felt like I was going ALL out. Dismayed by the time, I rested to recovery and tried again.

2) 28 seconds. OK, what the...I was pushing with everything I had, legs looking like someone cut my hamstrings, arms doing some new-aged dance move. I started to get the picture...

3) 30 seconds. Laugh, go ahead. I know, I could jog that in my sleep too...or so I thought. I swear, I was pressing with absolutely everything I had in me. No dice, the mighty Brian struck out.

4) To make myself feel even worse, I ended with a 30.5, a split I would have run if I was injured, intoxicated, with a bag over my head...wearing flip flops. 

So, speed work. Yeaaaaaaaaaaah. Apparently I need to do a bit more of it. Thank the Lord I didn't do the 4x400's I planned on...

Until next time, if you see my fast twitch muscles, send them to:

Brian Hetzel

P.O. Box What the F

Slowville, MA 021ihateeverything

Thanks,

B

Very Cool Happenings!

This has nothing to do with running but I must put it up anyway. So as many of you know, I attended and worked at Suffield Academy, a small independent private school in CT. Well, a few of my good friends and former colleagues and three former students are making a waves in the local music scene and now have a shot at opening up for Coldplay! Please go to the website and vote!!!!

Taken from the the Suffield Academy website, www.suffieldacademy.org,


The Pam Autuori Band, whose members include recent graduates Pam Autuori '08 and Dan Matchett '08, alumnus Keller Glass '01, faculty member David Stillman, and former faculty member Dean Ellerton, is among the final 15 bands in a contest to be the opening act for multi-platinum rock stars Coldplay, at the XL Center in Hartford on August 2nd.

The winning band will be chosen according to votes tallied on the 96.5 FM WTIC web site.

Students, alumni, and friends of Suffield are encouraged to go on line and vote for the band!

The band is the final video, at the bottom of the web page:

http://www.coldplayontour.com/wtic/

NICE WORK GUYS AND PAM!!!!!!!!!!!

Fundraising update

I thought I would update you all with some fundraising numbers. I just got a note from Dr. Petit, said that the numbers from the Petit Foundation golf tournament will most likely be up over $100,000. I have to give a huge congrats to him and the people who put this wonderful event on. If you want to get involved, head over to the Petit 5k road race page at,

www.petitroadrace.com

As of right now, there are over 1,000 folks signed up to run on Sunday, July 20th. I will be there, hopefully with a few friends from the area.

As far as my own fundraising, I have to get on the ball. Thank You to all those who have given so far. I will send out another email tonight, as I still think I can hit my goal. It's a big number, but definitely doable. If you want to give, head over to

main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/brisrunforthepetits

Thank You to you all in advance!

Best-

B