At the crizzack

Apparently when you are training for a marathon, sleeping in on the weekends doesn't happen. I thought I would take a picture just to document the fact that I was up and dressed at 5:45 AM on a Saturday morning.

5:45 AM. I wanted to write that again just in case anyone missed it the first time.

AM. Dressed.

This Saturday marked the last long training run for those who are competing in the Boston Marathon. It is tradition for those running on charity training teams to meet up at the start line in Hopkinton. I know this because several of the runners I manage are training for Boston. What I didn't know was that everyone within a 3,000 mile radius would show up.

Seriously, there had to have been a couple of thousand runners in Hopkinton center when I got there at around ten of 8. Sure, it was a nice morning, sunny, but Jack Frost was ALL up on my nose. So, to see so many people giddy with joy while wearing what I refer to as knuckle

pants, it was surprising. I thought I would show you the craziness:

Look at that, tons and tons of peeps all out in the freezing cold, chatting, and PSYCHED that they are about to embark on a 22+ mile run. I can see now why only a certain few run marathons. You have to be a different breed, with out a doubt. I thought this would be a great first test to see if I have any of that breed in me. So, I joined the crowd; chatted it up with a few veterans about sweat rates, lactic acid thresholds, ideal race weight, you know, things I have no business talking about. Hey, since I was dressed in micro-this and ultra-wick that, I had to blend in. It was right around this time when I noticed the majority of the heard crowding the Saucony press table - yeah, I told you this event was serious bidness. I needed to inspect this tomfoolery, if for nothing else then the body heat.

"Are you serious? I can just take as many as I want? Wow! Thanks, this stuff is like gold!"

"Gold, what? What is this treasure they speak of?" I thought to myself. As I made my way through the spandex and B.O., I saw the piles of neon packets, which were disappearing by the fistful.

"Goo?"

"Yeah, Goo, take some for the run," the nice lady with the terrible breath said. So, I grabbed a few, based on the colors of course, not to the flavors. What? Red is usually much better than blue and brown is way better than all of them, because it usually means chocolate. Then again, I had, and still have, no idea what I am talking so I probably should have checked.

As I have said before, I am not very patient when it comes to certain things and well, I had to try this little packet of wonder before my run. I mean, who can resist a name like, EXPRESSO BLAST? Not Brian Hetzel, that is for sure. So I ripped that jammy open like what and downed the gel in one.

Espresso Blast, really, Goo company? Or how about, let's say, Slimy Hot Trash? That would be WAAAAAAAAAAY more accurate in describing the foulness that oozed out of the packaging. Thanks, Goo, for ruining all of the credibility I had built up. That dry heave destroyed everything.

A few things

I just realized that I meant to write about my recent easy runs in the last post

Whoops.

These things tend to happen with me.

I wanted to mention that I am adding David Hetzel, my cousin and fellow homie, to the reasons why I am running this marathon. Dave was recently diagnosed with MS, and I feel that it is my responsibility to help him out. With that said, part of this is for you, Dave.

OK- I probably should get some work done.


Right. I am off to quench my thirst with a scrumtrulescent Coke Zero. It doesn't taste like regular Coke, but I promised my coworkers I wouldn't drink that anymore. I tend to get a bit hyper, or more so than usual. Coke Zero will have to suffice, I guess, even though it tastes like flat Coke, only with carbonation...if that...works...at all.

Right.


Peace-

B

My "easy" runs

Because I do not have access to Alberto Salazar, I Googled "marathon training programs" in an attempt to find one that would possibly suit my tastes. Really, I just wanted something to follow as I have absolutely ZERO idea what I am doing. Tell me to run and jump over a bar and land on a mat? Yep, I can do that. Tell me to run as fast as I can, jump far-ish, and land in sand? Sure, I can do that too.

"Brian, take this baton, chase that guy around the track, pass him, hand off to Johnny here, and collapse."

OK, I am game. But the whole start in one part of the state and run for 3+ hours having never run distance before? Yeah, that is going to take some expertise. Isn't that what Google is all about anyway?

The ING New York City website has a great section for novice distance runners such as myself. They even have tiered marathon programs, of all types; Work too much and need a condensed running plan? They have it. Want to run but do not want to put in all the miles? They have that too. Want to run relative fast but do not know where to start? Yep, they can hook you up. Head on over to:

http://www.nycmarathon.org/training/index.php

I chose the "Basic Marathoner" as my option. Yeah, I know, I have never run one before. But, I think I can handle this program and I want to run more than 3 miles at a time. I will let you know how this choice pans out right around the 20-mile mark on marathon day. I hope to still be upright at that point and in some form of locomotive state.

To be honest, I thought about just following in my father's footsteps and building a program myself, from scratch. But there are some subtle differences between my father and I when it comes to discipline. My father - as a kid he worked all through the summer to raise enough money to put himself through private school. Me - as a kid I spent the summers in Springfield firing around my neighborhood all day long in a state of reckless abandonment, eventually making it home for dinner before passing out in my spaghetti, face first. My father - as a high school student, my father took a bunch of trains from Metuchen, NJ to Newark to get to school every morning. Me - I would wake up every morning to the beeping of my ride sitting in the driveway, put on what ever was on the floor, throw on some shoes, grab the wrong books, stick my head under the faucet, forget the essentials, and be out the door in time to be late. My father - would read text books over and over again until he understood everything and would be asked repeatedly for his class notes because they were so thorough. Me- I would throw my text book out of the top floor window just so I could run down 4 flights of stairs, grab it, and run back up the stairs in an attempt to burn off enough energy to sit through the final period of the day. My father - did well enough to earn an academic scholarship. Me - "Brian, you ready for the SAT's?" "Wait, those are today?" Yep, true story (I actually did pretty well and ended up a top student in college, although this story is told better with a lot more drama. Just go with it).

So, me putting my own marathon plan together - nope, not going to happen. Besides, my father could hammer out 6 minute miles, one after the other, like it was no body's bidness. Me, yeah, nope, not going to be running six minute miles for a while. He also cranked a 2:34 marathon time, which is crazy fast. And that was back in the day before all the dope running gear was out. Homeboy rocked a fishnet singlet and some serious poom poom shorts. Electrolyte infused sports drinks? What? Psssssssssh! Doc. Hetz is a machine, no water needed. Me? You bet your booty I will be rocking the fuel belt, have the newest sweat resistant socks that keep the circulation going in the right places for a meager $80 a pair, running shoes that may not feel great but they make me look fast, some serious Nike drifit everything because if I can't run like a pro I might as well try and look like one, etc. You get the point. Me and Dr. Hetzel, not the same runner.

Right, so I don't really remember what I wanted to accomplish with this post. Anywho, good news is I have a real plan, actually printed out, and I am on my way to building a "base." Nice, I have never had one of those before. That requires AT LEAST a new pair of running-specific sun glasses....

Random note

I just wanted to put it out there that the Masters is in two weeks.

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

I don't care who you are, if you play golf or not, etc. You are not human if you do not get excited about the best tournament (well, outside of the world cup) on earth. That music, once it comes on, OH, and who doesn't love Jim Nantz and his commentary. Amen corner, I want a time share there.

OK, that is all.

First long run...by accident

Soooooooo, I have to say I have never been big on details. I usually just fly by the seat of my pants, and by usually I mean always. Going into my Saturday morning long run, I broke my code and decided to spare my shins any extra pounding and stick to 6 miles, no more.

Yeah, about that.


Everything started out great, I didn't try to break a land speed record like I usually do, leading me to dry heave after the first mile. No, I kept the pace slow, found someone to run with that was willing to just cruise along and chat. Now Newton, MA is not an UGLY place, per say, so I had a lot to be distracted by. We made our way along the Charles River, watched the crew teams from MIT and Harvard glide by (I just have to throw it out there that my oar would be lodged in that bullhorn if I had to get up at 5:30 every morning and listen to someone shout at me from a motor boat). Soon the conversations started up, we talked about marathons, why were subjecting ourselves to 26.2 miles of fun, where we grew up, etc. You know, the normal stuff that people talk about when they are trying to forget why they were running in the freezing cold at the crack on a Saturday morning. It was about the time when my mouth started to turn to paste that my running buddy asked, "How far do you plan on running?"

You know that feeling you get when you suddenly realize you forgot something crucial, like, say an appointment time or to send the schematics to Jack Bauer's PDA? Yeah, I know, Jack wasn't pleased. Anyhow, I told my running buddy that I was shooting for around six miles, give or take a few rest stops to hate myself.

"Well, you better turn around then; this is the five mile mark."


Awesome.


Way to go, Bri, you've just won an all inclusive package aboard the pain-train, next stop, Hatesville. I can't tell you the sense of "what the ...." that came over me. My first reaction was to cry, but I held it together. I thought of getting a cab but of course I was too proud to do that. So what did I do? Well, I don't really remember the thought process, but somehow I ended up in a CVS in Harvard Square looking for a bottle of Ensure. I know, right? A logical next step...What?

So after failing to convince the CVS clerk to sell me a single bottle of Ensure, I settled on Gatorade and a bar of horribleness that Snickers pretends to sell as an energy supplement. I tried to get this thing into my stomach but even a homeless man watched in horror as I chewed. I finished half of it, did a little wow-that-tasted-foul dance, and started on my journey back to my car.

Harvard Square to Newton.

Not close to each other.

At all, really.

As I made way back along the Charles, I started to get a terrible feeling, the one that every runner dreads when training in a city environment. Yep, you guessed it, I had to go to the bathroom. Now having run track in college, I have encountered this problem on a number of occasions. However, I went to St. Lawrence University and for those of you who don't know where that is, head directly towards the middle of nowhere. When you get there, keep going, and you will eventually find it. Finding a place to go to the bathroom up there was not difficult, as the place was surrounded by woods. Harvard Square, though, not very forested. But, I figured it being Harvard Square, the epicenter on wicked smaht people, I would easily find a bathroom. What? Smart people burn the midnight oil solving crazy equations and how to make the most effective terribly tasting energy bar. Because of this, they need a lot of coffee to stay awake. Because they need a lot of coffee, they will also need a lot of bathrooms. Natural logic.


Yeah, no bathrooms.

Harvard Square, I am really glad that you have all the eclectic boutiques, fun shops, and far too many bookstores but seriously. What is up with the Facilities? Did I miss the memo? So there I am, frantically firing around in my jogging tights, dodging one genius after another, in my quest to not find relief. Just when I thought I was going to be on the local news, I saw it, the fabulous wonder that it is...Ihop. The man at the counter was nice enough to let me by, or he read my face and didn't want to deal with what I had to offer. Either way, I was in and out of there in a quick 45 minutes and back on my way.

Rule of thumb to anyone who runs or is looking to get into running - when you have a sweat going and your body has adjusted to your run, don't stop. After nearly an hour of ballyhoo, my legs were not THAT thrilled to be running again. Of course the wind that wasn't at my back on the way out was now all up in my face on the way back. I decided to hold onto my Gatorade in an attempt to inject some energy as I went along. Funny, I didn't notice the pretty scenes or the MIT and Harvard crew teams on my way back. I am pretty sure they could have been screaming, boats on fire and I wouldn't have noticed. I was too busy rehashing in my mind how I a) got myself into a 10 mile run b) how I was actually going to make it back and c) the amazing things I was going to buy at Stop and Shop when I finally did make it back. Seriously, what is better than going shopping when you are super hungry? Exactly.

So the run back wasn't all that bad and I actually surprised myself by finishing fairly strong. I have to say that this was the first 10 miler I have ever done, even if it was only by accident. It made me realize that I am farther along in my fitness than I thought and that distance running is largely mental. I can do it, only 16.2 miles to add on...

Until next time-


B

Tech check

I am sending this from my iPhone to see if the remote posting
function works. That Steve Jobs is a smart dude.


Prooooobably not poor, either.

-B

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Mahatma Gandhi

The begining

Hello all-

Well, this is the begining of what I hope to be a successful venture into the world of marathon running. I must say that this is unchartered territory for me, as I am used to running as fast as I can, turning left as I go, and finishing in 50 seconds or less. For those of you who have never run track before, my race in college was the 400, a lot shorter than 26.2 miles.

"Hey Hetzel, do you want to run some miles with us?"

"Nope, not at all, really. Let me know how that goes. I will be here jumping on the high jump mats. Late!"

That about sums up my college running career, jumping into and over things and an occasional open 400 and a few relays. There was that one 1000 meter race I had to run for a multi event, but I have blocked it from memory. I will let others who were there comment on my amazing display of talent.

I know that I can run a marathon, and run it pretty well. I have until October 26, 2008 to prepare myself, so I have plenty of time. That said, 7 months is a long way off, and a lot can happen. For those that know me, they will tell you to stay tuned. It is always an adventure when Brian Hetzel is involved.

Well, here I go...............